@birming Awesome!

@sockpuppet.org Just watched Sinners (after some beers). Great movie!

@jthingelstad I saw the post when it was published but not this mention. You were pretty spot on. There was a bit of nuance with the folks starting it. I brought the idea back with me from a meeting with Chris Messina at a conference earlier that year and somehow got hooked up with Dan Grigsby to put on the first minnebar (which was short for Barcamp Minnesota—not Minneapolis). Luke then put on the first DemoCamp and then we later joined forces to have the events under one name “minne*” (later changes to Minnestar and a nonprofit)

@manton can’t wait for the Wolves to dismantle them.

@odonnellweb.com‘s recent post about about needing new friends certainly struck a few chords. He and I have shared many life experience (getting married in early our 20’s, I work from home, we moved away from friends and family in 2017, my wife and I are best friends and we go out together regularly—even hiking and taking frequent trips in our camper). Jena and I never had children, but as Chris points out—and as I have suspected—many of those parents-of-my-kids-friendships aren’t especially durable.

I’ve been lucky to have had several really close friendships in my life, and further thankful that some of these friends are still close (even if not geographically). But I think these friendships are a double-edged sword when trying to make new (local) friends. They are the benchmarks to whom I compare all potential new friends. It is unrealistic that this works out favorably for them. I’ve had nearly 30 years to get know and be known by these guys. We’ve had thousands of shared experiences, coded language, and are at ease with each other in a way that people an be when they take for granted (in the good ways) that they will remain in each other’s lives no matter what happens. These friendships are built to last, span across multiple domains and interests, and can withstand disagreements and arguments.

In my current community, I encounter people who:

1. Come from diverse backgrounds (i.e., not everyone grew up in Minnesota or works in software).
2. Hold different political ideologies.
3. Might already feel their friend groups are full.
4. Don’t share a wide range of my interests.

Expecting two or more of these criteria to align perfectly is probably unrealistic—and perhaps not even desirable in all cases (especially points 1 and 2), even if alignment makes things easier initially.

I’m starting to believe that sharing just one or two interests with potential new friends is enough. Doing those shared activities—rafting, concerts, comedy shows, hiking, biking—can create genuine connections. Over time, these experiences can grow into friendships that don’t feel like work.

@jthingelstad‘s Weekly Thing pointed me toward O’Donnell’s post as well as Noah Smith’s post on How to have friends past age 30, which added more helpful perspectives.